If I Could Turn Back Time
by Princess Pinky
Summary: She doesn't know why she did the things she did, she doesn't know why she said the things she said. Her world is shattered and torn apart, like a knife driven into her heart. Oh, if she could turn back time, if she could turn back time...


**A/N:** Just a little something that came to me while I was driving to class today. And yes, it's named after the Cher song, because I was listening to it right before I came up with the idea, so I guess you could probably call it my inspiration.

_**If I Could Turn Back Time**_

Her blood ran as cold as the arctic sea the moment she opened the door. Her hand was still frozen to the door handle like a tongue to a frosted poll in the dead of winter. _"Ricky."_

He wasted no time getting to his point: "I need to talk to you." But he didn't push his way inside, he waited for her to step back, allowing him entrance to her home.

"I heard you were back," she whispered, her voice frail, like puffs of icy breath. "But I couldn't believe it until I saw you with my own eyes."

"Maybe you just didn't want to."

She cast her dark eyes to the floor. "What do you want?"

"You hurt me, Adrian."

"I know. I meant to."

"_I know."_ A whisper sounded like a shout compared to his volume. "And when I was gone, I realized…I realized this is my fault."

"You didn't sleep with Ben."

"But I kissed Amy. And that was the worst betrayal I could make to you."

"Mine was worse."

His hand found its way to her shoulder, forcing her to lift her head and look straight into his strained, pallid face. "I'm here to apologize."

"Ricky-"

"Maybe you don't want to hear it, but I need to say it. _I'm sorry. _I'm _so_ sorry! All those times I cheated on you-"

"I cheated on you too."

"But not afterwards. Not after I told you I loved you. Then I had sex with Zoe and you…you forgave me! And then I kissed Amy. I fucking _kissed Amy!_" The veins were protruding from his quickly reddening neck and Adrian winced back, fearful he might break into a rage. "And I don't even know why. I don't even _like_ her!" His hand found her face and he watched her instinctively curl her cheek into his palm, only to pull back as she realized what she was doing. "I _like_ you. I love _you_. I'm _in love_ with you!" His voice was shaking, like a vase wobbling on the shelf, just moments away from falling and shattering into a million irreplaceable pieces.

"I…I can't." Adrian placed her hands to her face, deftly hiding her tears.

"_Adrian!"_ That was it; his voice reached its pitch and splintered like crystal. "I know I don't deserve it, but please! I'm _begging_ you for your forgiveness! You – you're the only girl I – I – I've ever _cried_ for. You made me cry, Adrian. I'm still crying."

The red veins marring the whites of his eyes, the sheen, the matted lashes; she knew he was telling the truth. "I'm so sorry," she spoke in an undertone. "But I can't. I just can't. It wouldn't be fair."

"Why?" Ricky's lips parted; dry and chapped like a man who had been in the desert for a month. "Is it…Ben?"

"I'm not in love with Ben."

"Then what? Adrian, you're not fooling anyone, least of all me. I can see you're still in love with me-"

"_I'm pregnant!"_

Silence. Neither released a breath. A cotton ball could've been heard hitting the carpet.

"After everything I've been through," Ricky choked, shattering the silence like a gunshot. "You would get pregnant? You've been with me for over a year and you would do this? With-with _Ben_?"

Her hand landed hard against the side of his face, embedding her pristine nails into his flesh like wooden splinters. "How dare you," she snarled; her voice as low and guttural, like a threatening mother bear. "You think I _wanted_ this?"

"You've slept with me how many times? With how many guys? And Ben, Ben Boykewich, my friend, was the one to knock you up? How is that an accident?"

"You bastard! If I wanted to get pregnant, I would've gotten pregnant by you and there wouldn't have been a damn thing you could've done to stop me! I only slept with Ben to get back at you. I never imagined that the condom would…would break with him."

"Weren't you on the pill?"

"I switched, because we weren't having sex. I didn't…I didn't think."

"No, you obviously didn't." He winced when Adrian turned her face away, hiding the shame behind her sheet of flawless black curls. The veins in his neck were thinning. "What are you going to do?" he asked, his voice suddenly raw. "Have you even told him?"

"He wants me to keep it; says he couldn't live with himself if I got an abortion."

"But he's not the one who has to give up his future. You have scholarships lined up for you, Adrian. A college plan in two years-"

"Would you give up John if you could have that?"

"How can you even ask me that?"

"Because it's the same thing, Ricky. What you're implying, what Ben's begging me not to do…it's the same thing as what you would want with John. As much as I don't want this – as much as I want to accept what you came here to tell me – I don't know if I can end it now just to keep my dreams. It seems so – so selfish." Her hand rested along her toned stomach. "I just wish I could turn back time."

"You've forgiven me for so much-"

"I know. And I get it. This is too big for forgiveness. I understood that the moment I saw that pink plus."

"You and I, we're the same, Adrian. When I look in the mirror, I see you. I don't think there's anyone else that could possibly understand me the way you do because we are so much of each other…and I guess this proves that." He suddenly laid his hand across hers, pressing it firmly to her belly. "All things considered, I've done just as much as you have, if not more. I can forgive you for this…I _do_ forgive you…and what I hope is that you could, just one last time, forgive me for that."

Wordlessly, she pressed her face to the crook of his neck and he could feel her heart tears on his flesh. He could feel the vibration of her whisper through his skin and into his throat as she said, "I forgive you." Instinctively, his free arm curved around her back and cradled her to him, both of them breathing tears and breaking down into each other.


End file.
